Freak On Out

Keistimewaan Wanita

2006-07-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

1.. Doa wanita lebih maqbul daripada lelaki kerana sifat penyayang yang lebih kuat daripada lelaki. Ketika ditanya kepada Rasulallah s.a.w. akan hal tersebut, jawab baginda : "Ibu lebih penyayang daripada bapa dan doaorang
yang penyayang tidak akan sia-sia."

2.. Wanita yang solehah (baik) itu lebih baik daripada 1,000 orang lelaki yang tidak soleh.

3.. Seorang wanita solehah adalah lebih baik daripada 70 orang wali.

4.. Seorang wanita solehah adalah lebih baik daripada 70 lelaki soleh.

5.. Barang siapa yang menggembirakan anak perempuannya, darjatnya seumpama orang yang sentiasa menangis kerana takutkan Allah s.w.t. dan orang yang takutkan Allah s.w.t. akan diharamkan api neraka ke atas tubuhnya.

6.. Barang siapa yang membawa hadiah (barang makanan dari pasar ke rumah) lalu diberikan kepada keluarganya, maka pahalanya seperti bersedakah.Hendaklah mendahulukan anak perempuan daripada anak lelaki. Maka barangsiapa yang menyukakan anak perempuan seolah-olah dia memerdekakan anak Nabi Ismail a.s.

7.. Tidaklah seorang wanita yang haidh itu, kecuali haidhnya merupakan kifarat (tebusan) untuk dosa-dosanya yang telah lalu, dan apabila pada hari pertama haidhnya membaca "Alhamdulillahi 'alaa Kulli Halin Wa Astaghfirullah
Segala puji bagi Allah dalam segala keadaan dan aku mohon ampun kepada Allah dari segala dosa." ; maka Allah menetapkan dia bebas dari neraka dan dengan mudah melalui shiratul mustaqim yang aman dari seksa, bahkan AllahTa'ala mengangkatnya ke atas darjat, seperti darjatnya 40 orang mati syahid, apabila dia selalu berzikir kepada Allah selama haidhnya.

8.. Wanita yang tinggal bersama anak-anaknya akan tinggal bersama aku (Rasulullah s.a.w.) di dalam syurga.

9.. Barang siapa mempunyai tiga anak perempuan atau tiga saudara perempuan atau dua anak perempuan atau dua saudara perempuan, lalu dia bersikap ehsan dalam pergaulan dengan mereka dan mendidik mereka dengan penuh rasa taqwa serta bertanggung jawab, maka baginya adala syurga.

Daripada Aisyah r.ha. "Barang siapa yang diuji dengan sesuatu daripada anak-anak perempuannya, lalu dia berbuat baik kepada mereka, maka mereka akan menjadi penghalang baginya daripada api neraka."

10.. Syurga itu di bawah telapak kaki ibu.

11.. Apabila memanggil akan engkau dua orang ibubapamu, maka jawablah panggilan ibumu dahulu.

12.. Wanita yang taat berkhidmat kepada suaminya akan tertutup pintu-pintu neraka dan terbuka pintu-pintu syurga. Masuklah dari mana-mana pintu yang dia kehendaki dengan tidak dihisab.

13.. Wanita yang taat akan suaminya, semua ikan-ikan di laut, burung di udara, malaikat di langit, matahari dan bulan, semuanya beristighfar baginya selama mana dia taat kepada suaminya dan meredhainya. (serta menjaga sembahyang dan puasanya)

14.. Aisyah r.ha. berkata "Aku bertanya kepada Rasulullah s.a.w. siapakah yang lebih besar haknya terhadap wanita ?" Jawab baginda, "Suaminya" "Siapa pula berhak terhadap lelaki ?" Jawab Rasulullah s.a.w. "Ibunya".

15.. Seorang wanita yang apabila mengerjakan solat lima waktu, berpuasa wajib sebulan (Ramadhan), memelihara kehormatannya serta taat kepada suaminya, maka pasti akan masuk syurga dari pintu mana saja yang dia kehendaki.

16.. Tiap perempuan yang menolong suaminya dalam urusan agama, maka Allah s.w.t. memasukkan dia ke dalam syurga lebih dahulu daripada suaminya(10,000 tahun).

17.. Apabila seseorang perempuan mengandung janin dalam rahimnya, maka beristighfarlah para malaikat untuknya. Allah s.w.t. mencatatkan baginya setiap hari dengan 1,000 kebaikan dan menghapuskan darinya 1,000 kejahatan.

18.. Dua rakaat solat dari wanita yang hamil adalah lebih baik daripada 80 rakaat solat wanita yang tidak hamil.

19.. Wanita yang hamil akan dapat pahala berpuasa pada siang hari.

20.. Wanita yang hamil akan dapat pahala beribadat pada malam hari.

21.. Apabila seseorang perempuan mulai sakit hendak bersalin, maka Allah s.w.t. mencatatkan baginya pahala orang yang berjihad pada jalan Allah s.w.t.

22.. Wanita yang bersalin akan mendapat pahala 70 tahun solat dan puasa dan setiap kesakitan pada satu uratnya Allah mengurniakan satu pahala haji.

23.. Apabila seseorang perempuan melahirkan anak, keluarlah dia daripada dosa-dosa seperti keadaan ibunya melahirkannya. Sekiranya wanita mati dalam masa 40 hari selepas bersalin, dia akan dikira sebagai mati syahid.

24.. Wanita yang memberi minum susu kepada anaknya daripada badannya (susu badan) akan dapat satu pahala daripada tiap-tiap titik susu yang diberikannya.

25.. Jika wanita menyusui anaknya sampai cukup tempoh (2 1/2 tahun), maka malaikat-malaikat di langit akan khabarkan berita bahawa syurga wajib baginya.

26.. Jika wanita memberi susu badannya kepada anaknya yang menangis, Allah akan memberi pahala satu tahun solat dan puasa.

Wanita yang habiskan malamnya dengan tidur yang tidak selesa kerana menjaga anaknya yang sakit akan mendapat pahala seperti membebaskan 20 orang hamba.

27.. Wanita yang tidak cukup tidur pada malam hari kerana menjaga anak yang sakit akan diampunkan oleh Allah akan seluruh dosanya dan bila diahiburkan hati anaknya Allah memberi 12 tahun pahala ibadat.

28.. Apabila seorang wanita mencucikan pakaian suaminya, maka Allah mencatatkan baginya seribu kebaikan, dan mengampuni dua ribu kesalahannya, bahkan segala sesuatu yang disinari sang suria akan meminta keampunan baginya, dan Allah mengangkatkannya seribu darjat untuknya.

29.. Seorang wanita yang solehah lebih baik daripada seribu orang lelaki yang tidak soleh, dan seorang wanita yang melayani suaminya selama seminggu, maka ditutupkan baginya tujuh pintu neraka dan dibukakan baginya lapan pintu syurga, yang dia dapat masuk dari pintu mana saja tanpa dihisab.

30.. Mana-mana wanita yang menunggu suaminya hingga pulanglah ia, disapukan mukanya, dihamparkan duduknya atau menyediakan makan minumnya atau merenung ia pada suaminya atau memegang tangannya, memperelokkan hidangan padanya, memelihara anaknya atau memanfaatkan hartanya pada suaminya kerana mencari keredhaan Allah, maka disunatkan baginya akan tiap-tiap kalimah ucapannya, tiap-tiap langkahnya dan setiap renungannya pada suaminya sebagaimana memerdekakan seorang hamba. Pada hari Qiamat kelak, Allah kurniakan Nur hingga tercengang wanita mukmin semuanya atas kurniaan rahmat itu. Tiada seorang pun yang sampai ke mertabat itu melainkan Nabi-nabi.

31.. Tidakkan putus ganjaran dari Allah kepada seorang isteri yang siangdan malamnya menggembirakan suaminya.

32.. Wanita yang melihat suaminya dengan kasih sayang dan suaminya melihat isterinya dengan kasih sayang akan di pandang Allah dengan penuh rahmat.

33.. Jika wanita melayan suami tanpa khianat akan mendapat pahala 12 tahun solat.

34.. Wanita yang melayan dengan baik suami yang pulang ke rumah di dalam keadaan letih akan mendapat pahala jihad.

35.. Jika wanita memicit suami tanpa disuruh akan mendapat pahala 7 tola emas dan jika wanita memicit suami bila disuruh akan mendapat pahala tola perak.

36.. Dari Hazrat Muaz : Mana-mana wanita yang berdiri atas dua kakinya membakar roti untuk suaminya hingga muka dan tangannya kepanasan oleh api, maka diharamkan muka dan tangannya dari bakaran api neraka.

37.. Thabit Al Banani berkata : Seorang wanita dari Bani Israel yang buta sebelah matanya sangat baik khidmatnya kepada suaminya. Apabila ia menghidangkan makanan dihadapan suaminya, dipegangnya pelita sehingga suaminya selesai makan. Pada suatu malam pelitanya kehabisan sumbu, maka diambilnya rambutnya dijadikan sumbu pelita. Pada keesokkannya matanya yang buta telah celik. Allah kurniakan keramat (kemuliaan pada perempuan itu kerana memuliakan dan menghormati suaminya).

38.. Pada suatu ketika di Madinah, Rasulullah s.a.w. keluar mengiringi jenazah. Baginda dapati beberapa orang wanita dalam majlis itu. Baginda lalu bertanya, "Adakah kamu menyembahyangkan mayat?" Jawab mereka, "Tidak" Sabda Baginda "Seeloknya kamu sekelian tidak perlu ziarah dan tidak ada pahala bagi kamu. Tetapi tinggallah di rumah dan berkhidmatlah kepada suami nescaya pahalanya sama dengan ibadat-ibadat orang lelaki.

39.. Wanita yang memerah susu binatang dengan 'Bismillah' akan didoakanoleh binatang itu dengan doa keberkatan.

40.. Wanita yang menguli tepung gandum dengan 'Bismillah', Allah akan berkatkan rezekinya.

41.. Wanita yang menyapu lantai dengan berzikir akan mendapat pahala seperti meyapu lantai di Baitullah.

42.. "Wahai Fatimah, untuk setiap wanita yang mengeluarkan peluh ketika membuat roti, Allah akan mebinakan 7 parit di antara dirinya dengan api neraka, jarak diantara parit itu ialah sejauh langit dan bumi."

43.. "Wahai Fatimah, bagi setiap wanita yang memintal benang, Allah akan mencatatkan untuknya perbuatan baik sebanyak utus benang yang dibuat dan memadamkan seratus perbuatan jahat."

44.. "Wahai Fatimah, untuk setiap wanita yang menganyam akan benang dibuatnya, Allah telah menentukan satu tempat khas untuknya di atas tahta di hari akhirat."

45.. "Wahai Fatimah, bagi setiap wanita yang memintal benang dan kemudian dibuat pakaian untuk anak-anaknya maka Allah akan mencatatkan baginya ganjaran sama seperti orang yang memberi makan kepada 1000 orang lapar dan memberi pakaian kepada 1000 orang yang tidak berpakaian."

46.. "Wahai Fatimah, bagi setiap wanita yang meminyakkan rambut anaknya,menyikatnya, mencuci pakaian mereka dan mencuci akan diri anaknya itu, Allah akan mencatatkan untuknya pekerjaan baik sebanyak helai rambut mereka dan memadamkan sebanyak itu pula pekerjaan jahat dan menjadikan dirinya kelihatan berseri di mata orang-orang yang memerhatikannya."

47.. Sabda Nabi s.a.w. : "Ya Fatimah barang mana wanita meminyakkan rambut dan janggut suaminya, memotong misai dan mengerat kukunya, Allah akan memberi minum akan dia dari sungai-sungai serta diringankan Allah baginya sakaratul maut dan akan didapatinya kuburnya menjadi sebuah taman daripada taman- taman syurga dan dicatatkan Allah baginya kelepasan dari api neraka dan selamatlah ia melintas Titian Shirat."

48.. Jika suami mengajarkan isterinya satu masalah akan mendapat pahala 80 tahun ibadat.

49.. Wanita yang menyebabkan suaminya keluar dan berjuang ke jalan Allah dan kemudian menjaga adab rumahtangganya akan masuk syurga 500 tahun lebih awal daripada suaminya, akan menjadi ketua 70,000 maalaikat dan bidadari dan wanita itu akan dimandikan di dalam syurga, dan menunggu suaminya dengan menunggang kuda yang dibuat daripada yakut.

50.. Semua orang akan dipanggil untuk melihat wajah Allah di akhirat,tetapi Allah akan datang sendiri kepada wanita yang memberati auratnya iaitu memakai purdah di dunia ini dengan istiqamah.

51.. Dunia ini adalah perhiasan dan sebaik-baik perhiasan ialah wanita (isteri) yang solehah.

52.. Salah satu tanda keberkatan wanita itu ialah cepat perkahwinannya,cepat pula kehamilannya dan ringan pula maharnya (mas kahwin).

53.. Sebaik-baik wanita ialah wanita (isteri) yang apabila engkau memandang kepadanya ia menggirangkan engkau, jika engkau memerintah ditaatinya perintah engkau (taat) dan jika engkau berpergian dijaga harta engkau dan dirinya.

54.. Dunia yang paling aku sukai ialah wanita solehah.

my new principle yay

2006-07-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

everything you do, question what good, that way you'll only do the right thing, no you dont need to learn, you only need to do the right thing

By far, the only thing I'm proud of this summer...

2006-07-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

The reflection paper I wrote for my engineering management class.

Reflection Paper
MT 244 – Summer 2006
This course has been very informational and inspiring that picking out 5 most important points has not been an easy task. It was nothing like I have taken before and I am so glad I took this class before my senior year. The stuff that I learned from this class is going to be useful in my senior year and in preparing me to step in the career world and most importantly it will be useful for life in general and understanding people or understanding that people are complex. Also, as an international student, I get to learn a lot about the American work culture and with the knowledge I will get to see things differently from my future colleagues. I am pretty sure that I have changed in so many always after taking this class and am planning to learn more and practice it on daily basis. The following are the 5 points that I have come up with as important in no particular order.
#1: ‘Goal setting’. This was the first thing we learned in class. The first activity was ever the most awakening of all. We were to write down our goals divided into three time frames, short term, mid term, and long term. Upon doing that, I found out how I was having a hard time figuring out what my goal was while others just went on to write them down. Everybody seemed to have defined their goals ahead of time. This I never knew about my circle of friends. I knew that people had goals but I did not know that everybody had them so quantifiably defined that it seemed like it was a sure thing to happen. I learned a great lesson in this. It is best to have a quantifiable goal so that we could have the picture clearly in our mind. With the clear picture, we would know for certain what we should do to go about accomplishing them and set other goals around it to be realized in a well defined time frame. It is very important to have the sense of time framing in goal setting as it was emphasized by Prof. Jordan, time passes by before you know it, you’ll wake up 40 years older and wonder what happened. This is indeed very true. I remember hearing complaints from the elderly but as a youngster either it hardly knocked any sense to me or I just didn’t bother to understand. I know this could happen to me too because it wasn’t long ago I was a freshman lost on the way back to my dorm and now I am about to enter my senior year. Time really does fly by. Before I wake up wondering what happened since I turned 20, I’d better set my goals clearly and lead a purposeful life. Over the years, I often woke up hating what the day had in store for me. Having goals and purpose in life makes me eager to live each day and eases the pain of doing something I really hate but have to do nonetheless, because now I know it brings me closer to achieving my goals. Goals, as I see it, are also a sense of comfort and resource of strength for people who occasionally hate what they have to do. But if you still hate it, and it has nothing to do with your goals, you should know that it is not for you and you’d better do something about it. I also learned something else, and I am glad I learned it when I was still young – that according to Jordan’s theory of option, the number of options declines with age. As you grow older, you have fewer options. It is also important to keep your options open for as long as possible because we don’t know what’s going to happen or if our plans are going to work out. In other words, welcome all possibilities, make the best choice and see things in long term. Thus, we have to have quantifiable goals but need to keep options open. We need to be constantly reminded of our goals for a successful life. Life doesn’t just happen. Better take control of your life while you can.
#2: ‘Power’. First we were asked to define power. I tried to do this in my head, but all that I came up with was from physics point of view, power is the ability to do work, which was really what I understood about power. In the general sense, power is the ability to overcome obstacles to achieve results and to influence people. A person without power cannot do these two things. Power comes from many resources and over time can become secured or obsolete. Power can also beget power. There are three things to do with power; resistance, compliance and commitment. I learned how to identify power-driven people and how they work. In the working world, there are generally three drives; achievement, affiliation and power. The power people work around influencing others and being their own person. The importance of caring about other people and wanting to succeed is also to be emphasized for a manager. With power alone, one can only be powerful – influential and authoritative. But in management, which is getting things done through other people, one also needs to have the drive for achievement and affiliation. I particularly like the professor’s point that there are two kinds of power, position power and personal power. This puts things into a good perspective. Some power we have to let go when it is time and some power we accumulate through out life and are there to hold on to until the day we die. I have seen many cases (at least from the news or on the TV) where people go crazy when they lose their position power. People could lead a miserable life or even commit suicide from losing power. Perhaps being powerless comes as a shock to these people who were once on the top of world, if they had personal power
to hold on too perhaps they would have been happy to let go. What they should have
done is they should have developed personal power and let go of their position power
gracefully. Personal power could be knowledge, expertise, friends, loved ones,
possessions, experience or principles even. These are the things that people should be making as early as possible. As suggested by Peter Drücker, do continuous learning. As a young person, that has no position power, I should accumulate personal power and make everything a learning experience. If I were to have position power one day, be it as a CEO, a manager or a parent, I am to understand these power can be taken away, nonetheless I should hold the power with full responsibility and consideration when I still have them.
#3: ‘Total Quality Management (TQM)’. TQM is a management strategy that is centered on the awareness for quality in all organizational process. When I first heard of it, I thought it was pretty redundant. I mean, isn’t management all about quality? Apparently, only managements that practice TQM are so. TQM has been adapted by the government, schools, and corporations and so on. Center on quality is a good principle to live by. Because at the end of the day, we’d want to end up with the best and continuously do better. Before WWII, the expression ‘Made in Japan’ had been seen as products that were of low quality, perishable, cheap, etc but then after several decades, Japan emerged as one of the most powerful producing countries and came up with the best quality products in the world. This could have never happened if not for the implementation of TQM in the system. Through out the decades, we have seen how TQM leads corporations to success.
As defined by the Deming Prize Committee of the Union of Japanese Scientists and Engineers:
"TQM is a set of systematic activities carried out by the entire organization to effectively and efficiently achieve company objectives so as to provide products and services with a level of quality that satisfies customers, at the appropriate time and price."
On an individual level, applying TQM could too be very beneficial. I see that this is doable. A TQM person would be all about quality in all aspects of his life. He would have systematic ways and approaches to satisfy his needs and meet his goals, and also he would be tolerant and pleasant to other people (customers). A TQM person would be an altogether person and pays attention to all his needs and sees himself as an organization where he’s the manager to lead the entire divisions. I so think a good management can begin with one self. One is going to master management skills a little if not a lot when he sees himself as an organization that needs top notch management. And eventually, he’ll make a good manager that pays attention to everything around him.
#4: ‘Synergy’. Synergy is getting a consensus out of a group of people. When we did the "Lost At Sea" activity, the group's result was greater than the average sum of the individual's scores. We were all better off as a group than on our own. The power of synergy is indescribable. Different people have different opinions and different ways of looking at things, and when these different people get together, lots of ideas will arise from under the table. Two heads are definitely better than one. But still there are two kinds of synergy; a positive synergy and a negative synergy. In the case of our “Lost At Sea” activity, we encountered positive synergy. A negative synergy is when an individual’s decision is better than the whole group, as we saw happened to the group next to us. But looking at society perspective, still the group as a whole is better off. It was only that one individual that encountered negative synergy and would have done better on his own. As is often the case, negative synergy does happen, but the positive still outweigh because the entire group still benefit from the group consensus. Therefore synergy, on a society level is always a good thing. I have learned that differences should be valued and looked for, because through differences we get different viewpoints to something and help us make better decision for all to benefit. I also learned the need to sacrifice one’s well-being for the well-being of the society – as in the case for negative synergy. This was proven by the Walt Disney company example discussed in class, and we can see that the company is still very successful to date.
#5: ‘Interviewing’. We all will be familiar with this at some points of our career.
Interviewing is a game we should play without letting the interviewer/interviewee know that we are playing the game or even know about the game. There’s an art we need to master to succeed an interview. Besides the many laws we ought not to break. (I had no idea such laws existed before this class). The typical process of an interview was described in the lecture. Basically, first up is the screening (avoidable if you graduate from a great school such as Vanderbilt), where they test your personality to get viable people past to the next process. Next up is behavioral interviewing, where they try to find out if you are safe, all together and if you are going to cause problems and last but not least if you are going to fit in the culture at the workplace. Most managers will also try to find out if hiring you will make them look good. It’s all about selling here. The best way
to interview people is to ask open ended questions. We also went through a list of
questions and I did find a lot of them very difficult to answer. In each question you answer, you sure want to sell and make yourself look good strictly without lying (or if you need to lie, be subtle and smart about it) and without breaking the law. It’s not only inyour answer, it’s also the way you answer it, and how you answer it. You should expect to be judged a whole lot during an interview and should never let your guards down and at the same time need to be casual and cool about it. There are rules when dealing with certain questions like salary. You should be smart not to sell yourself short or too high it’d scare people away. You best do research on the company you are interviewing for, and the job market. Personable people are also what most employers are looking for. Therefore we should brush up our people skills, be presentable and know about a lot of things to make ourselves interesting. The trick is also to stand out from the other candidates. The art of interview is beyond CGPA. And good resumes are not enough. It is one game I’d like to master at.
I learned about a lot of things in this class, 5 points is an understatement. ‘How To Win Friends & Influence People’ is easily my favorite book and I intend to continue reading it for reinforcement. It’s always amazing to me to notice how each person is unique and yet as a whole we are all the same. The way we were brought up, the environment we were brought up in, our society and the media contribute a lot to the way we see things. But deep inside, we were made of the same thing. There were many things I learned that help me to understand the differences and similarities and to better understand myself. The outlook on career life has pushed me to think ahead and got me to be aware that I need to prepare myself as I embark the future. The course overall has made my summer wonderful.

booooo

2006-07-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

no it didnt happen. so booo me.

just a day, just then

2006-07-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

dont look back.
be realistic. dont hang on thinking everything will be ok.
noone's a villain in their own mind.
just a quick reality check. today started late and it was raining all the way. sometimes it rains in the summer like that. tomorrow, i am planning to see tamara before class and hand in the papers to my mt professor. so tonight is another all nighter. a productive one at that, lets make it happen. in 30 minutes.

today's mt class was great. i particularly like the final hand out. one of these days, i shall start living them.

next week.. is a brand new week. i'm going to read Life of Pi, and all the books on the shelf that i havent read. a simple way to have an out-of-this-world summer.
and worry about next fall every now and then.

that should do it.

one bad day doesnt kill you

2006-07-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

thats what my tamara said on one of her handouts. any complaints come see me.

GO ME! wrapping up

2006-07-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

GO ME! project was done but has a couple of follow-ups that i'll think/write about later. its 4th of july tomorrow, basically a big deal, i figured i'll tag along to downtown and watch the fireworks, sounds like fun alright, it'll be my first time out for 4th of july celebration, just so i can say i've seen one. maybe that could be a reward for doing papers which i have yet to get started with. sounds only nice to have my whole day dedicated to that, oh no, the two re-writes are due wednesday too, i may have to forget going out tomorrow night, thats okay really, i just realized, i dont really have time off till saturday. if only all these hard work was for something to get. hmm.

GO ME! finale

2006-07-03T06:10:00.000-07:00

argh malas. have to make sure there were of the right pages those things that i copied from someone elses work shh dont bust me its about an hour to go malasnyaaa but if i stopped now takda maknanya

GO ME! part 3

2006-07-03T03:20:00.000-07:00

heheheeeeeeeeeeeee feeling econ high. putting your brain into something is ultimately an escapade. so idle mind has been the reason i was all moody and cranky and numb and reckless and depressed and idle hah go figure. being able to stay focus is what i need to stay happy so that i'll be able to stay focus some more so that i'll be even more happy. a vicious circle like that... ;) i am at work, and it feels sliglhtly different coz tonight i accomplished something. i finish econ homework!!!!! imagine how i'd feel if i fisnished all journals. !!. plan priority and focus and then go nuts with whatever. sounds like fun to me. so its about 2 hours to write up 3-4 journals. am i up for it? hell yeah. i am so pumped from working that i want to work some more. yay me. hope it'll last till winter. and start back spring. :) senyum sokmoooo some moree :) :)

GO ME! part deux-2

2006-07-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

4 journals and a nervous me

GO ME! part deux

2006-07-02T21:42:00.000-07:00

i am basically done with the timely assignement, i have another long overdue that i am not sure if they are still acceptable. have to yet study econ, the chapters were okay, rather interesting if were studied in a timely manner. and the journals. erk. will i get them all done before 8? i'll see her 8.30, pop a couple of questions, show my effort and interest, and them head on to his office with the papers and things that i supposedly need to speak with him about. but what are they. i cannot go unprepared again. i'll think some up. i will. i need to stay alert and sharp for the next 10 hours maybe... a few more minutes to midnight i think i'll start with the journals now... see ya on the other side

GO ME!

2006-07-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

the next 13 hours will be solely dedicated to finishing and studying econ homework and writing up overdue journals. i'll be dead for the next 24 hours. hopefully, i'll come out of it very much alive and happy that i could forget the past few weeks. and crossing my finger hard, maybe i could get more for first session. semalam yang hangat is playing and i can hardly get faizal off my mind, but the song, the song is telling me to move on and get things over with and be positive. i should listen to this over and over during my 13 hours of self torture, so that it'll be burned to my head and i wont forget this moment. so i'll be fighting with a lot in the next 13 hours, hate, disgust, regrets, its about time. now the need to think up for a plan. tons of homework and studying that should take until slightly past midnight without mental burn out. and then probably 12 pages of journal before 8 am. hah. crazy like that. i am as good as dead, might as well die hard. i should be strong, very very strong, i can collapse happy tomorrow evening.

the future

2006-07-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

there is no knowing what the future holds.
so i'll stick with liking faizal for now.

L.O.V.E.

2006-06-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

i talk about love. a lot. i melt to a truthful love song. i like romantic movies that dont push it too hard, coz the cheesy ones make me feel like a loser. maybe, in a non-cheesy way, i am a hopeless romantic. or just being a total girl sometimes. i am still practical and everything, i just go dreamy when the subject is love. the other day i saw this shirt i would really like for my non-existing special someone to have, and i bought it on an impulse, and hoped that it would go to the right guy. haha crazy like that. but never gatal ok. i can totally wait for my one true love. i just like the idea of being in love. buying the shirt was like, oh ok this is going to be for him and he's real. he's out there. whats he like i cant tell for sure. hopefully what i hope he'll be.....
i dont easily fall in love do i. heck, i have never.
but i'll know when i do.
i'll see you when i see you.

i dont get irresponsible people

2006-06-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

you can run, you can hide but you cant escape the past. you're responsible for every single thing you do, whether you assume responsible or not. some people run away from responsiblity only to have it haunting them every single minute of their lives. being responsible can suck, especially for things not so nice that you've done, and true you can choose not to do anything about it, either way you're miserable. so what the hell, go make things right for a change if you're gonna feel like a loser anyway. i hate irresponsible people. it doesnt matter if they are so by ignorance or by their own vulnerable make-up. irresponsible people is the reason for most things unfair in the society. its okay to make mistakes and slack off once in a while, but the minute that you refuse to learn from it and be responsible for your action, your center is in big question. people will think twice to ever trust you again, and labels (boy do they hurt), you'll get labels, and it sucks when people presume you things. you're not necessarily bad people if you're irresponsible, like i said, it could be of your vulnerable make-up, your total reactive nature, or your resentment towards things, etc, life could be hell. things frustrate. people lose. people give people the look. but responsibility is the tool to bounce you back up, to get you to move on and to take on the next life challenges. things get to you, might as well face them, if you take a step backward to avoid, you just arent going to go ahead.
grrr.

tell me something

2006-06-29T23:50:00.000-07:00

i have a thing for male singer taking out the index finger upon hitting the chorus...
i am so looking forward to getting tomorrow over with. oh things that i look forward to get over with!!! the things to be all nicely written up, turned in and emailed. the homework and the painful studying. and the talking into, the selling. part 1 and part deux. talk about desperation.
i am so sick of living around screwing up.
tomorrow faizal's performing. it isnt really a big deal. it's just having a form-2-ish crush at age 21. and then some. heheh.

sheesh

2006-06-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

summer... fresh and crisp. the breeze and the heat. silverlinings.
it'd be nice to be able to spend some hour writing out and figuring out. it's probably the worst summer ever. sad. must the last be the worst?
the nice thing is, it's another week till i can start a brand new chapter, i am NOT pushing anything to the back of my mind, i've learnt the danger in doing that. let this summer not be forgotten, let nothing be. its not for hurting me more, it's just so that i can effectively restrain myself from going there again. some obstacles are just mere illusion. but now, illusion is not to be underrated, illusion has infinite ways to trick you into, whatever it is that illusion does. its evil. anything that takes you away from reality is evvil.
been there, done that. its stupid to go back there doing the same old that.
so what the deally? is tomorrow the moment of truth? the journals, the homework and the talking into. its only a week left, might as well give my best. (whats with the rhyme?) it's time like this that i feel ridiculously righteous, insightful, it's annoying.

faizal af4

2006-06-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

Faizal is looking good in everything he does. For him, it is just so easy to be so cute and so endearing. Usher look-alike, I gotta say. Eyes too close, sharp profile, dark complexion, and all. And who could resist the ever so cute so unique Terengganu accent. Not me, a Marang native myself. Haha. Faizal is definitely my favorite orang kampung. Kongkang or not kongkang, guy has moves. Guy has beats, and charms so rare on the tv. So I wouldnt have known, the next big thing was only in the same daerah as I was. Whom I might have bumped into, or stood in line with, or was on the same ride to Bandar. OH MY WORD! So I'll be on the look-out everytime I'm back in town, which is not until next year. Yay, more motivation to make it home safely. (Like I needed more already!)
*star-stricken*